Is Someone You Care About Struggling—But Not Ready to Seek Support? Here’s What You Can Do

It can be deeply distressing to watch someone you care about struggle with their mental health, especially when they don’t recognise—or aren’t ready to acknowledge—that they need support. As a friend, partner, or family member, you may feel helpless, frustrated, or even fearful for their wellbeing. These feelings are natural, and you’re not alone in experiencing them.

Why Might Someone Not See They Need Help?

There are many reasons why a person might not see the need for support:

• Stigma and Shame: Mental health challenges, including substance use, still carry stigma, making it hard for some to admit they’re struggling.

  
  

• Fear of Burdening Others: Some people worry about being a burden or causing worry.

  
  

• Lack of Insight: Certain conditions, such as depression, trauma, or substance use, can cloud a person’s ability to recognise their own suffering.

  
  

• Coping Mechanisms: They may believe what they’re experiencing is “normal” or something to simply push through, or they may use substances as a way to cope with distress.

  
  

• Previous Negative Experiences: Past experiences with help-seeking might have felt unhelpful or even harmful.

When Substance Use Is Involved

Sometimes, people turn to alcohol or other substances to manage difficult feelings or situations. Substance use can become a way of coping, even when it starts to create its own problems. It’s not uncommon for someone to minimise or deny the impact that substance use is having on their life and relationships.

If you’re concerned about a loved one’s use of alcohol or other substances, it’s important to approach the topic with sensitivity. Substance use can be especially difficult to talk about, as it’s often wrapped up in feelings of shame or fear of judgement. Remember, your role isn’t to diagnose or “fix” the problem, but to offer understanding and support.

How Can You Offer Support?

While you can’t force someone to seek help before they’re ready, there are gentle ways to offer support and keep the door open:

1. Listen Without Judgement

Let your loved one know you’re there for them. Sometimes, just listening—without offering solutions or advice—can make a world of difference.

2. Express Concern Gently

Share what you’ve noticed in a caring way. For example:“I’ve noticed you’ve seemed a bit down lately, and I’ve seen you’re drinking more than usual. I care about you and wanted to check in.”

3. Avoid Ultimatums

Pushing or demanding that someone get help can create distance. Instead, focus on being a safe, supportive presence.

4. Offer Information, Not Pressure

You might offer information about mental health or support services, but let them decide if and when to take the next step.

5. Look After Yourself

Supporting someone who is struggling can be emotionally taxing. Make sure you have your own support network and take time for self-care.

When to Seek Immediate Help

If your loved one is at risk of harm to themselves or others, or if their substance use is putting them in danger, it’s important to seek immediate help. In Australia, you can contact:

• Lifeline: 13 11 14 (24/7 crisis support)

• Beyond Blue: 1300 22 4636 (mental health support)

• Alcohol and Drug Foundation (ADF): 1300 85 85 84 (information and referral)

• DirectLine Victoria: 1800 888 236 (24/7 confidential alcohol and drug counselling and referral)

• Emergency Services: 000 (if someone is in immediate danger)

Remember

You can’t “fix” someone else’s struggles, but your compassion and steady presence can be a powerful anchor. Sometimes, just knowing someone is there and cares can plant the seed for future help-seeking when they’re ready.

If you’re finding it challenging to support a loved one, or if you need guidance, professional counselling can help you navigate these difficult moments. At Mental Health Counselling Geelong, we’re here to support both individuals and families through life’s challenges, including concerns around substance use.

For more information or to book an initial session, you can contact us on 0425 831 176 or visit www.mentalhealthcg.com.